The Simpsons Quotes

[oscarfulz]

sorry

 

[regulate]

from todays ep:

Bart: Thank god we finnaly came to our senses and worshiped some carpenter that died 2000 years ago.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Homer: As the bible says, thou shalt not horn in on thy husbands racket
Marge: Where does the bible say racket?
Homer: Its in there




Homer: Just remember, if something goes wrong, just blame the guy who cant speak English, ahh Teebore how often have saved my butt

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Marge: Where did you get that tutu?
Homer:...Clothes line.

 

[xAkirax2004]

Krusty: Here ya go kid. *throws towel*
Bart: Wow! A big clown hanky.
Krusty: It's a towel, you yutz!

 

[Street Fighter]

Fake Homer: "B-oh!"

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer: I can't beleve we just met Mr. Bean!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Originally posted by radicool02
Marge: Where did you get that tutu?
Homer:...Clothes line.

Same episode:

Homer: I wish I married a buisinesman, then I would have nice things


Ralph: Lisa is a sellout, Lisa is a sellout, Lisa, whats a sellout?

 

[nk4e]

i don't know if this funny
its the bumber sticker off of flanders car
"I LOVE UR CHILDREN"

 

[nk4e]

when bart and lisa is takin care of the old folks
bart with vacum: grandpa.......puts vacum against his head ..... homer........takes out vacum

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Kid: Hey muh can I have a cookie?
Mum: No dice.
Kid:You havn't heard the end of this.

 

[Mike Rotch]

Chief Wiggum: I've always wanted to take out a perp on stilts with rhino tranquilizer.

Lou: You're livin the dream chief, you're livin the dream.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Dr. Nick Riviera: (singing) The knee bone's connected to the something, The something's connected to the red thing, The red thing's connected to my wrist watch, O Oh

 

[oscarfulz]

a map that read:

"you are here, you are not here"

 

[skip0110]

After Homer trips off the chilis:

"I hope I didn't brain my damage."

 

[regulate]

Mr. Burns to Mr.Smithers: Judas!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Homer:Are you a care bear?
Intencive care bear:No, I'm an intensive care bear.

 

[Mike Rotch]

Announcer: And presenting the Teacher of the Year Award...Liiiittttle Richie

Homer in audience holding lighter: Purple Rain!

Little Richie: Shutup fool and sit down!

Homer: Wow. Michael Jackson just told me to be quiet.

 

[Street Fighter]

Homer (holding a tub of ice cream): Marge, where's that metal dealy... for digging...?
Marge: You mean a spoon?

 

[Street Fighter]

"Ho Ho- D'OH!"

 

[Street Fighter]

Apu: Please do not offer my God a peanut.

 

[Street Fighter]

You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!

 

[Bollocks#999]

Bigger Brother receptionist: And why would you like to join us?
Homers Brain: dont say revenge, dont say revenge
Homer: Revenge
Homers Brain: Thats it, I'm outta here

 

[Sleek Stratos]

The Homer/Homer's Brain sequences always get me at some point. 👍

 

[milefile]

Marge holding Maggie, a bow in her hair...
Moe: Oh look at the cute bow. Lemme fix it the way she likes it. Yeah, she hates lookin' like crap.

 

[miniMADness]

Originally posted by Bollocks#999
Bigger Brother receptionist: And why would you like to join us?
Homers Brain: dont say revenge, dont say revenge
Homer: Revenge
Homers Brain: Thats it, I'm outta here

and the time he does that...then he collapses!

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Jasper:Thank you achu.
Apu:No, pu not chu.

Insurance man: And is this moes place some sort of bar?
Homer:...It's a pornography store, I was buying pornography.

 

[Bollocks#999]

Pepi: I love you Papa? Homer
Homer: I love you too pepsi
Pepi: pepi
Homer: pepi

 

[Bollocks#999]

Bart: All he needs is a hook
Gabbo: Im a bad little boy
Bart: Ay Carumba

 

[Cap'n Jack]

Todd:I'm jealous of girl's, because they get to wear dresses.

Ralph:Why do people alway's run away from me?*Wet's his pant's*

Ralph:What's a battle?
Super intendent chalmers: Did that kid just say what's a battle?
Principal skinner: No, he said what's that rattle.