America - The Official Thread

[Liquid]

I'm rifling through the joke book to try and find some more...

 

[TexRex]

That round's been spent.

 

[McLaren]

I'm rifling through the joke book to try and find some more...

Been drawing blanks here.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

Nah...in case you haven't noticed, we all have a grip on this discussion.

Sorry, didn't mean to butt in.

Been drawing blanks here.

I think it's time to stock up.

 

[UKMikey]

One may recoil at the many gun pun repeaters on this thread but there's no choice other than to continue to slug it out as we musket to the end.

Let's give it our best shot.

 

[ROAD_DOGG33J]

I didn't realize I was using recycled ammunition and unfortunately it backfired.

 

[Famine]

Much as though I want to guide this thread back to the subject it revolver-round, I don't really want to be the pun suppressor.

 

[GBO Possum]

My pun collection is of insufficient caliber to join this conversation, so I’ll move to actual US news……

Looks like the Republican Party is beginning to abandon Putin. Kentucky is having an each-way bet, with Senator Rand Paul continuing to fiercely support Putin by blocking financial support for Ukraine while Senator McTurtle has gone so far as having a photo op with “The Servant of the People”.

While this may not be an official GOP stance, at least it’s a start.

US Sen. Mitch McConnell joins Susan Collins, other GOP leaders in Kyiv to support Ukraine

U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell joined several other Republican leaders this week on a visit to Ukraine, amid its ongoing war with Russia.

www.usatoday.com

 

[Tornado]

I think Rand Paul is just being his usual asshole self more than anything.

 

[TexRex]

Is it weird that Rand Paul is okay with Russia assaulting its neighbor? I think it's weird.

 

[Pupik]

Is it weird that Rand Paul is okay with Russia assaulting its neighbor? I think it's weird.

Freddy Krueger Rand

 

[Liquid]

Is [Rand Paul] weird?

Yes.

 

[GBO Possum]

Is it weird that Rand Paul is okay with Russia assaulting its neighbor? I think it's weird.

Of course Rand Paul was assaulted by his own neighbor.

 

[FuriousDemon]

All puns about guns and then we have this

Google News

Comprehensive up-to-date news coverage, aggregated from sources all over the world by Google News.

news.google.com

Google News

Comprehensive up-to-date news coverage, aggregated from sources all over the world by Google News.

news.google.com

 

[McLaren]

Be careful Googling for the Buffalo, NY shooting. The guy livestreamed it on Twitch according to reports, and though it's all been pulled & erased, there are screencaps of him & a victim that could pop up as you search.

 

[TexRex]

Of course Rand Paul was assaulted by his own neighbor.

 

[Chris30]

Rand Paul better watch out, he may run into someone his own size, meaning that he can outplay him.

 

[Famine]

So here's two fun things I discovered about Texas this weekend.

Firstly, it became illegal in Texas for Twitch to takedown the livestreaming of a spree shooting incident filmed by the perpetrator, as the federal US Court of Appeals struck down an earlier ruling by the US District Court that HB20 - banning social media companies from enacting moderation - was unconstitutional. That means that Twitch broke Texas law by taking the stream down as the racist murderer in Buffalo killed ten people.

On a lighter note, under Section 43.23 of the Texas Penal Code, it's illegal to own six or more dildoes in Texas.

 

[Blitz24]

So here's two fun things I discovered about Texas this weekend.

Firstly, it became illegal in Texas for Twitch to takedown the livestreaming of a spree shooting incident filmed by the perpetrator, as the federal US Court of Appeals struck down an earlier ruling by the US District Court that HB20 - banning social media companies from enacting moderation - was unconstitutional. That means that Twitch broke Texas law by taking the stream down as the racist murderer in Buffalo killed ten people.

On a lighter note, under Section 43.23 of the Texas Penal Code, it's illegal to own six or more dildoes in Texas.

That's going to be interesting to see if someone requests Twitch to put it back (even if it's just to serve as an example for how stupid this law is). My guess is that there isn't a loophole to say "Well this one is allowed because...".

 

[pokemonfan58]

That's going to be interesting to see if someone requests Twitch to put it back (even if it's just to serve as an example for how stupid this law is). My guess is that there isn't a loophole to say "Well this one is allowed because...".

Would they really do it just because one state says so? I’d hope not, to put something like a mass shooting back up on twitch over some petty law that Texas passed is ridiculous.

 

[Danoff]

Would they really do it just because one state says so? I’d hope not, to put something like a mass shooting back up on twitch over some petty law that Texas passed is ridiculous.

Looks like it's headed to the supreme court. It's a super sound 1st amendment argument, so if the supremes allow it to stand, it'll be a big shakeup and a major problem. I imagine that twitch (and others) will bide their time until then.

 

[Darla Starch]

Penal Code

haha penal code

 

[axletramp]

What's their legal definition of a dildo? I mean, many common items found around your average home and a little imagination can make lonely evenings fly by.

 

[Joey D]

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough. And having worked in an urgent care before, I can assure you there are some really brave people that have a series of misfortunate events.

 

[Blitz24]

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough. And having worked in an urgent care before, I can assure you there are some really brave people that have a series of misfortunate events.

I am not linking the deadspin articles which basically contain a large list of things people inserted into their orifices and got stuck, requiring an ER visit, but yes, it is mostly due to people exploring what they can cram into locations out of curiosity/stupidity.

 

[Darla Starch]

It's a firm committment to find out what someone can willingly stick inside their body.

 

[Joey D]

It's a firm committment to find out what someone can willingly stick inside their body.

Willingly? Nah they just slipped and fell.

 

[GBO Possum]

American exceptionalism at work... click the title below to get to the NYT story (no paywall)

How Australia Saved Thousands of Lives While Covid Killed a Million Americans

"The United States and Australia share similar demographics, but their pandemic death rates point to very different cultures of trust."

I'm a citizen of both countries, and to me, the Times pretty much nailed it. Lack of "trust", plus lack of "mateship" killed about 900,000 Americans. That, and hubris, supported by incredibly irresponsible political decisions.

Historical background:-
The advantage that Australia had, if you can call it such, was that the early settlers didn't have the luxury of fighting with each other. The environment was too tough. Lack of water, secretive wildlife, unrecognisable plant foods and the difficulty of terrain come to mind. Success required cooperation.

By contrast, eastern America has lakes and ponds everywhere, wildlife for the taking, and terrain which is easy to cross. Hence the gunslinging wild, wild west. Conflict was rewarded.

 

[axletramp]

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough. And having worked in an urgent care before, I can assure you there are some really brave people that have a series of misfortunate events.

I think I’ve met most of them…

 

[Sprite]

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough. And having worked in an urgent care before, I can assure you there are some really brave people that have a series of misfortunate events.

Having met a very unassuming looking girl back in my Uni days who liked Hot and Cold Spoons being used… well you get the idea.

To use her phrase “Scoop me like a hot fudge Sundae”